Cocaine for the masses

No, we haven't been taking drugs, but we have been drinking Stella. All eight cans I bought yesterday because they were on offer. In our defence it was between three of ourselves, and we did not beat any wives. It is strange stuff though...

Ten reasons I should remember not to touch the delicious reassuringly expensive lager again:

1. It makes me have a Stella glow, which although amusing gives way to a Stella rant quite rapidly.
2. Stella rants are quite like any other slightly boozed up rambling, as you truly believe you have access to some amazing knowledge that others don't have. For example if you are friend S that sheep just exist in the south east on reservoirs to mow the lawns.
3. I think I have some unique talent to drink a lot of lager and not be very drunk.
4. We are all too noisy, no doubt embarrassingly so on a Monday night (albeit it is half term).
5. I think I have a special knowledge of fashion, apparently men should never ever wear sports trainers unless they are engaged in sport. They should source retro trainers, or at a push wear sort of skater style. Course L thought it was ok he wears sports trainers, as otherwise he'd look like a thirty something Dad in skater sized ones.
6. We argue with our best friends about fashion.
7. I think I am more intelligent than lots of people (apparently more intelligent than people who work hard) - but not as intelligent as others.
8. I spend some minutes, rather hours lamenting my rubbish education, farmers comp followed by old poly. This is therefore the reason I am not as intelligent as other people, rather than the fact I've never done any academic work apart from when I fancy it.
9. Arguing with best friends about fashion brings up critique's of me and I'm not good about this, and in fact disagree that trousers over dresses is only visible on the South Coast and Would Never Be Seen in London.
10. The hangover from Stella's special mix of chemicals hurts quite a lot.