Sunday, 11 October 2009

There is a wolf at the door...

Weirdest weekend, I've had a front (ish) tooth out, got a bad cold, got a terrible period and have lost all confidence to smile. Plus, weirdly, or maybe not, given that list I've been sleeping really badly and keep getting a bit of a temperature during the night.

The loss of confidence, in being well, attractive has been the worst, possibly I've never felt this bad about myself again, and don't want to go out ever again. To be honest I'm fine if I don't smile - but if I do then there is a gaping hole - kinda like an Amy W but one tooth back. And usually I smile quite a lot, and laugh but that is all over now.

Then I've been worrying about fixing my tooth - basically I can't have a bridge as it'll ruin two other teeth and give me false teeth in ten years or so (reading between the lines this is so...). I could have an implant but they are between two and four grand. And guess what, that is where this frugal living stuff is not funny, not funny at all. Bank loans put to one side, and that is probably where they will stay, unless that is I sell my soul up the river, never see my children and get a Proper Long Houred Job. Of course there is Saving. But this would mean teeth before wonky chimney that could crash through living room and ruin my floors/us.

Then last night, to cap it all off, I had this dream. I was running through my old junior school, next to my parents house when a wolf appeared and started chasing me. I thought I'd cleverly got away by running in to their house when, oh no, the wolf followed me. Luckily there were those horizontal steel bars that stop motorbikes and horses going down footpath's inside the hall, so the wolf was slowed down. Then I had a big flap, pretty much like how I was when the Giant Raven was sidling up to Ollie to eat him/attack him at the Tower of London and simply did not know what to do*. My dad saved me by chasing the wolf out the door.

What does that mean? Very Joseph and the amazing though.

*Lovely Claire saved Ollie by doing, and thinking of the right thing and shooing the Raven away. Thanks Claire.


Sandra Morris said...

According to Jung, the wolf may represent fear, evil, feelings of helplessness, being controlled by another or some situation in which you feel helpless.

Alternatively, have you been reading Little Red Riding Hood to the children as a bedtime story.....?

tattyhousehastings said...

God, that is really accurate - I do feel really helpless about my tooth, and that combined with the flapping about not knowing how to get rid of the wolf.
Thanks Sandra, forgot about your Jungian advice (to R in the past).
Knew I'd feel better if I blogged, even if in same rubbish position.