Important Things I have Learnt (this weekend)

1. Even meat eaters largely think pork hot dogs are gross, they have opinions on meat too.
2. No matter what you say, largely meat eaters, think gelatine is fine.
3. My look-e-likie is Lisa Tarbuck, apparantly, and apparantly I am also funny like her.
4. People should not tell me any stories about their sick animals with badger bites, and how they subsequently smelt without expecting me not to be retching before they have got to the point.
5. Foxes make bad smells.
6. I have fat cheeks, hence would find it difficult to find a diving mask that did not let in water - luckily can't really swim so should be ok.
7. Orange peel can't just be left on the side for a couple of weeks, then be expected to be a fire lighter, the mould is a bit off putting. There must be Another Way.
8. Move over open fires, chestnuts can be roasted on top of woodburners, and even afore mentioned meat eaters who usually eschew nuts like them.
8. Everyone loves a bit of Stilton at midnight.
9. Not everyone loves dancing on dance mats in front of other people.
10. I must try to not tell everyone how obsessive I am about coffee then they will never make it for me.
11. I think it would be ok to keep a jar of instant coffee in the house, as some people like it.
12. I am probably a make and do person.
13. I am a fan of Cath Kidston.
14. Children do get tired, and can go to bed a bit early, or late without Dire Consequences.
15. I like drinking champagne and vodka with orangina.
16. Eating cheese stops me from having a hangover.
17. Take water and snacks on long walks as we all get tired and thirsty, and there are no corner shops in Fields and Woods.
18. I love my new Ugg style sort of O'Neills boots, as mentioned in earlier blog.
19. It's cold in November
20. Everyone loves the seaside.

Unpleasantness of Cleavage Showing

Have discovered two unpleasant things about cleavage today, not sure why only just discovered them, more exposure to countryside or children perhaps.
The first is mine, when its cold having cold cleaveage is hideous.
The second is K's, your child insisting on putting cars down your cleavage is equally as hideous, particularly if its cold, or if they try and retrieve them.

Dressing Routines

It's a normal cold but bit sunny day here at the top of the hill, and I thought I would stay in this afternoon and do housework, as usual for a Friday. Have spied some Cheerio's under the sofa, and am sure have not have any for weeks. Also got friends and new baby coming to stay this weekend, so think best to make house marginally clean.

Ran out of clean pants for son today, (he had to wear swimming ones, again, oops). which reminded me of his obsessive dressing in the morning. Left to his own devices he takes about an hour to get dressed, and seems to enjoy it. Think my procrastination has rubbed off on him, The best bit of it is the check, check, check, part. His routine is as follows;

Get to his bedroom, look at something, toy, book, even chairs - comes to tell me about object, e.g.'mummy my chair is great for reaching tall things'.

Take off all his clothes, bar his vest

Go to use the bathroom

Come and tell me he has used bathroom

Encouraged, slightly impatiently by me, to return to his room and get dressed

Returns to bedroom, perfects chucking pyjamas on to the top bunkbed, this can take time, and involves climbing up to bed for another go if not in perfect position, not sure what that is but seems to involve being too far to reach without climbing up

Slightly more impatient urging by me to get dressed

Chooses some pants, some socks, and (on non school days) a top that matches his pants and socks, then trousers which match all of the above. This can take some time, depending how many clothes are actually clean and in his wardrobe

Puts all clothes on chair

Counts them down on to pile on floor, saying pants, check, socks, check, t-shirt, check, jeans, check

Then remembers would quite like a belt so still in vest comes to find me to find belt

I say he does not need one impatiently by now, or I'll get one later

Gets dressed, in specific order which Can Not be Altered, although does change from day to day.

Comes to find me to have outfit admired.

Any ideas for future careers anyone??

Slummy Mummy

Still have not cleaned up cat poo in front garden, but its ok as its disguised by all the mud.

Mouldy Door

Just spied mould on the bottom of the kitchen door, guess its linked to the wood rotting, linked to the rising damp, then linked to the concrete floor. Can I just pretend I don't know the reason and replace the door frame, rather then getting diggers (poss called builders?) to take up concrete floor.
Same goes for flaking paint in on kitchen wall, on living room window, bedroom window, and playroom wall. Maybe I need a sort of house lobotomy where the worst problems become non existent because my brain can't see them. Or I could take a tip from the children and shut my eyes, that will make them disappear.

Bus Journey from Hell

Must remind self that have gone off buses for a reason, just got one home from town centre, bus was packed, I had two children, buggy, loads of shopping and two balloons on sticks. Gave up seat to pregnant lady, but after about ten minutes noticed she looked squashed, realised daughter was clutching lady's knee with dirty hands, and son was repeatedly bashing her in the face with his balloon. Buggy was also squashing her in to the corner, she did not look very happy. Did apologise for all of it, but she said she did not mind she was just glad of a seat. Good God, how nice are some people! I'd be weeping about my lot, or deciding my children would be perfectly behaved just because I'd tell them to be.

Then older ladies started to argue about how many bags they had, and who could move back further or something. Was quite entertaining so listened to them instead. Bus driver so jolly he laughed all way home about weight of his over crowded bus, and made cheery comments. Bet he listens to Steve Wright in the bloody afternoon too.

Killer Ladybirds have Got My Curtains - window dressing that is..

Oh My God. Just went to drew the curtains and looked up at the wire, thought oh how lovely, someone has wrapped some beads around the corner of the wire. Then, why would anyone, apart from me that is do that, I guess I could say its the sort of decorating I do come up with.

Then I realised it was the killer ladybirds. A whole gang of them, at least fifteen, why are they there? Is my house too damp (the bay window does have Damp)? How can I make them go? Decided to close curtains and wait for Long Suffering Husband 'just make them go'.

But how hideous, what are they doing? I read earlier in the year about them, apparantly they've come from Nowhere, or Somewhere Abroad, and are eating all our little cute English ladybirds. It's something like the red squirrel/grey squirrel story, evil American grey wins over cuter English red. But they were not beetles really and did not breed in my curtains. God God God, how to deal with creatures this house brings up.

I saw a fox wandering up the road last night, cute, but poos in the garden so not keen anymore on lovely urban foxes. Also one ate my friend H in London's lovely white Birkenstocks once, so not friendly, also looked at her mum, can't remember why last bit wrong but was Bad.

We had a lovely valuation lady today, our house has gone up to Band D council tax which we're appealing against. She was very nice, but it is very complicated, I think we should win though as we only have 3 bedrooms, unlike our neighbours who are rightly D because they have decent extensions and attic conversations that are more than 3 foot long, and for an actual purpose.

Very unsure about purpose of our attic conversion, as its off master bedroom, and is just sort of full of bookshelves. Possibly just a reading room thing with no heating and no floor. It's useful for putting things in but then so are actual attic's. This one does have two windows, and does somehow serve to suck all the heat out of our bedroom in to it, and straight out the windows. So that's useful in the summer, bloody frezing now though.

Oh, and in terms of to do list - have done these tasks so far this week:

• Nearly all massive three week pile of ironing

• Vacuumed house, and mopped all the floors

• Bathroom cleaned, although not by me am afraid to say

• Made four winter garden wreaths - photo to follow, one is alright if slightly too Christmassy for time of year, did try to tie apples to it to make it more autumnal but they fell off and was worried that local children might steal them aka apple theft, although probably would be community service by me as better for them than the sweets and fizzy pop I normally see them with.

• Made and frozen soup and veggie sausage rolls

• Shopping online completed

• Bought some new sheets but forgot pillows which was why I went out..

• Went to son's parents evening, which went well apart from him leaning over on the table and bumping his head on it, then five minutes later daughter did the same. Teacher then asked what the problem with our family was, course I could tell her it was Husband who was extremely clumsy, luckily he was there to look sort of clumsy.

• Decoupaged a little Ikea stool, with bits of pictures that I like, its sort of funky but also a bit strange. Think I will do another one tonight for the children's playroom, have cut out bits from magazines that I like already. It will be a bit girlie but will be able to do another one for Ol from more 'cool' things when we collect some more grown up magazines. Can't believe how gendered they both are. And I've worked hard to make sure they weren't, I do think its partly age related though, daughter is in to Bob the Builder and Dora and little children things, and son in to computer things, suspect he would be keen on Power rangers and cartoon things we let him watch them, but do try to avoid violence.

• Sorted out children's playroom, and their toys - just need to buy new inner bag for bean bag too now.

• Dusted whole house, except for afore mentioned attic room which has A Lot of Shelves.

• Oh, and went to new and really not very comfortable playgroup with daughter this morning. Parents quite deprived and sitting on table facing away from children. All the children there came and played with me and friend K because we looked at them, and sat on the floor. It was really a bit sad, but probably good for parents as they got to chat (they all seemed to know each other), and ok for children to be out with other children. Think quite a few smoked so probably good for children to be out from smoky environments too, n.b. Hastings has one of the largest populations of smokers in the South East,and more surprisingly people here, even with children actually smoke in their houses. Did not know anyone really did that anymore. Also the community centre housing group was very depressing with breeze blocked walls and obligatory scent of bleach. At least it was clean though I guess. One of first playgroup experiences was Cheeky Monkey's in Leytonstone which we all grew to love, but first time we went with little babies were so scared of the dirty old carpets on the floor, had to put babies on muslin sheets, and think were too alarmed by whole place to drink tea. Mind you once did get children a beaker of juice and found lots of mould inside. Is that ok for them?

Think that is all of excitement for last two days, bar usual dinner making, and washing, and drying, and sorting children out. Latter three all made far worse this morning by daughter coming in our bed after putting hand down her nappy. Woke up to bad smell in my face which was her hand. Very hideous.

Rainy Night

Last night it was raining so hard, and the rain storm appeared to be coming down the hill, rather than from the sea as usual that we discovered some new problems. Putting the children to bed I noticed a really chilly draft sort of coming through the sash window. Wasn't sure how to resolve it really, well other than get PVC windows, but decided to fix curtain to window frame with clothes pegs in the end. It did seem to keep the wind out. Really did not know sash windows could be so holey.

Then came downstairs and found rain creeping in under kitchen door. We knew the door did not fit very well, but to have a door actually lettting rain in was not expected. Could not think of solution to that one so went in to living room instead, with lovely warm fire and glass of wine and watched 24.

In effort to be frugal we signed up to one of those DVD by post schemes, but as we don't want to pay any money, we feel we have to watch DVD's really quickly when they come in the post. Is bit of a shame really as think 24 is beginning to be a bit much for me, really fancied just sitting last night. 24 is amazing really, but so brutal and disturbing am not sure its actually good for me. Spent hours awake in bed last night worrying about, goodness knows what really and sure it was because was so hyped up from watching 24 before bed. When I was pregnant we watched another series, and I managed to get such bad toothache I thought something was really wrong, dentist said I was just stressed and grinding my teeth in bed, due to watching 24.

I think I've answered my own question really, need to stop watching 24 probably altogether but definitely before going to sleep. Do not want to drive self any more mad than already am. Going to try a week without telly soon, just need to convince rest of family...

Finding some cloves and oranges

Mission for today is to find some cloves and oranges, stay calm all day (not always easy), and try to see the sea. Can't believe we live next to sea, less then two miles away and have not seen it up close for days, bit like living in London, and not going in to town for weeks. Or is it just that we get so caught up in trivial day to day life that we forget to do the things for us, that we really love?

Also have an urge to try and make some Christmas presents, hence the oranges. Last time Ol made them they went rotten though - not sure why. Just hope it doesn't happen before Christmas this time, also still need to think about wreath thingy for door. It's a beautiful albeit cold day today so perfect for getting on and out.

My to do list

In the interests of being open, and sharing the excitement that is suburban housewifery I have decided to compose today's, well this week's to do list on line.

1. Freeze spicy pumpkin and lentil soup.
2. Go to Ol's parents evening tomorrow, remember not to discuss personal feelings about phonics, or make any hand gestures. Try to talk about friends - i.e. does he have any?Think of diplomatic way to ask if he annoys the teachers by talking too much, about Sonic hedgehog, or just generally, remember to let teacher talk first though.
3. Make some paper snowflakes to decorate windows with.
4. Clean up cat poo in front garden, and consider buying £4.99 fake cat with glassy eyes from betterware catalogue to scare away cats, ? will it work with badgers too?
5. Vacuum the floor, best do today as is sort of health and safety issue.
6. Make some wintery things with children, oranges with cloves in, and maybe that winter wreath (have left it so long it can be combination of autumn and Christmas.
7. Do some ironing, might be nice to achieve this in next two weeks, as getting bit silly. Even son complaining that he has only got fluffy jumpers in his drawers.
8. Do some dusting, various locations.
9. Tidy playroom and sort out children's toys.
10. Tiday attic room and sort out dust up there.

That's about it for the list, just had a real Anthea moment, she would say stop writing about it and get on with it...so I shall, first with the various dusting. Do other people write to-do lists in order, or tackle them in order, hmm not sure, well I am v. good at prioritising, have read 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, though can't remember any of them. Oh, touch paper only once is a Very Important One.

Will report back later in week so see how I get on, tempted to delete ironing but that would be cheating...