Lovely Looe

I was reminded yesterday just how lovely Looe really is, and how much I love that part of Cornwall.

So much so that I must write my three favourite things that happened there:

1. We got Andrew, the big penguin, who in a terribly nerdy sort of way now I think of it, was our kind of cool mascot/friend of a stuffed toy. About ten of us from Uni (yes, we skipped classes again I expect) nipped to Looe on a day trip. We put loads of money in the grabby machines and swopped ten tiny teddies for one giant Andrew. He even came ice skating with us, and is technically still on shared ownership. George - my turn!
2. Once I went in to a pasty shop, and asked for a vegetarian pasty. They said; ' You're not from round 'ere are you?'. Luckily, I cleverly replied I was from Plymouth (rather than the snobby South East) and they told me they'd have some Tuesday week.
3. My boyfriend at the time, and his friend motorbiked to Looe and went in to a pub. They were carrying bike helmets. The owner rushed up to them and said; 'We don't want your types in 'ere.' So they went home.

Also we bought baby Ol his first pasty in Polperro, and he sicked it up in his car seat.

Still love it though.

Fish faces

I tried to eat fish again, but it made me feel really sick. I thought I'd eat it for health reasons; i.e. it'd help me lost weight to make me fit and healthy. But its grim. I just can't do it.
Roll on Amazon with the Veggie low carb diet cookbook.

Identities

I've spent the week having conversation about who we are and who we were with my friends. I've yet to meet one who is happy to say I'm a housewife/mum to so and so/lady who lunches etc without a wince and a sense of irony.

Somehow we all want to talk about what we were, what we did, and how we got here. It's as if as soon as you have children, and mostly spend your time looking after children, that becomes your identity. You're no longer daughter, but mother to the grandchildren. You're no longer Ms or Mr Artist/Professional/Quirky etc.

Maybe it is because nearly everyone defines themselves by their job. And when you don't have a paid job anymore, that definition goes. Of course I'm the first the admit I hated my job at times, adored it at others, but wouldn't have done anything else - though possibly in a different location.

I wouldn't even go as far as to say we're struggling with the concept that we look after children, primarily, because somewhere we all believe that its the right thing to do. Or we wouldn't be doing it. But the names for what we do are simply rubbish. Housewife is a real 1950's concept, and ok, may well define what we do (checking out bargains, preparing dinner, cleaning the home and so on) but its so old fashioned. And anyway what if you are not married, as many of us aren't in 2009?

There's homemaker - which if I'm honest I quite like, except it doesn't roll of the tongue and makes me feel like I would spend all my time plumping cushions, and making quilts. Not doing bloody washing, and cleaning, and fetching children.

Course most people say stay at home mum/dad nowadays - but even then that implies all you do is the childcare bit. Not the managing home/family/pets type scenario.

And are we proud of any of these titles? They don't give a clear identity; you don't get a grip of who someone might be/where they came from/how hard they worked to get where they are to be these.

So - what do us stay at home people do? Carry on giving people an hour lecture on who we are and what we do when they make the mistake of politely enquiring what we do for a living. Or give up, and just know inside we were once made for more. (N.b. and that isn't to say being parents doesn't mean you don't use your brain, but really you don't)

Makes you think siphoning some children off in to domestic studies makes sense after all. No point educating people to sit at home worrying about how to get jam off the sofa after all is there?

The danger of being a stay at home parent

..., apart from drinking too much coffee is getting involved in too many voluntary activities.

I agreed to be secretary of the nursery committee back in September time. The plan was I'd just take a few notes once a term. I did try and warn the joint treasurer's that their job would be far far harder. And it is, they've done a sterling job of setting up a system, budget and forecasting.

But all the roles are a little more than we think, we're actually trustees, we are accountable and we cannot run away if it gets a little tricky. I think we'd all like to but are committed to staying the course this year. Then running off as our youngest children hit school.

But then, we have to join the PTA. Of course, we don't have to, but as a stay at home mum, what excuse have you got not to help? And that's also more work than you think...meetings, baking, making elves and buzzing games. Not to mention generally helping and being nice. N.b. being nice is most certainly an effort, particularly for unsociable people like me, who now have to Be Nice at least twice a day, and very very Nice at School Concerts and dare I mention church carol events.

Then there is the Governor pressure, resisted by many. But someones got to do it. Not me though this time.

Plus, I seem to think I have time for voluntary work at a local arts centre/shop. Again, in theory its easy to pop in now and then. But what about sickness, and parties, and shopping (food not Bluewater). I've been doing all three things now for, well at least September and getting, on occasion very very stressed by them.

Of course maybe its just me, maybe Nice People can have a number of Roles and manage without almost losing the plot, and thinking they Have To Do It All. I'm not so sure though.

That, and keeping up with children's, family, friends birthdays, oh and making time to see distant family and friends, and um, just generally having a non-health hazard home. Plus, seeing friends, arranging children's social lives and activities, arranging family activities and just trying to spend time together.

It's no wonder I lost the plot about work, and have slipped with my ironing.

Must do less.

Must get routine together.

Must drink less coffee.

Or am I just a typical middle class moaner (albeit a poor one)?

The error of my ways

I decided to adapt a knitting pattern, from the Usbourne (Childrens) Book of Knitting for my five year old. Last time I knitted a hat from the same book for the 3 year old it came out my size. So this time I halved all the instructions. Clearly this isn't how you do it.

Children quite pleased that I'm knitting for their toys though. Have lost a teeny bit of knitting guru/magic with them though!

(n.b. I do know about tension squares just don't have the patience for them).

Going to bed early is the new Rock and Roll

It was like visiting a hotel last night, we went to bed early and watched TV in bed. Total luxury and the going to sleep early bit meant I'm (almost) full of the joys of spring this morning.

I say almost because of course I did not jump out of bed with the alarm clock, but I'm up, having coffee, two out of three of us are ready for the day. The third one, Ol is still messing about getting dressed - it's only been an hour so far and I still haven't shouted at him. Will have to soon though 'cos can't be late for school due to son spending over thirty minutes choosing his socks.

I think Americans (confirm please any reading Americans?) tend to go to bed earlier and at least in my head, drink less, and feel wonderful in the morning? Is this the case? I think I read it in a novel sometime, but it also described how American mommy look is lots of make up with fitness wear. Which may be right but is opposite to our look here; which is I guess a little dressier generally with subtle make up. However I am feeling very American mommy - ish today, although not a pig in a suit (hardly!) but more a Desperate Housewife. Sort of like Gabriella when she lost her way and gained a bit too much weight. We have 'knit' (inverted commas to denote and recognise that more drinking and talking takes place than knitting) nights here, they have card nights. And I do love my neighbourhood too.

Anyway I don't care about make up or clothes today, or even my hypothetical white picket fence falling down. I feel great. And have lost ten pounds all together now!!

Banning Carbohydrates for one of us,and frugal living

Amazingly my new low carb diet has not seem to have cost very much money, apart from the initial outlay in vitamins and super vitamin chromium (apparently burns fat! - can if be true?). I've been doing our shopping for the past 3 weeks from Asda home deliveries. It's been costing me just over £50 a week, which for four of us is fantastic. I do have to buy the odd thing during the week, but usually just a little milk and fruit.

Plus, for those doubters out there - it is all good quality, I am most certainly as guilty as most people for being a food snob, and have been know to refuse to eat anything I think is from a questionable source (shop across the road from us in London in particular). OK, it is not Waitrose or Marks and Spencers' - you have to do the work making the basics in to something yummy - it doesn't already appear looking appealing. But am fairly pleased with it all, and with basing meals around protein, at least for me.

And the amazing diet news is that I've lost 8lb's in one week, which I'm really pleased with. The weird thing is I had lost it a couple of days ago and now stalled. Suspect the stall is down to the accidental wine drinking which occurred on Thursday night. I am not regretting the wine - as I needed it. It cured my monstrous detox headache (yes I know) and it cheered me up no end.

Still I won't be having wine this week - too excited about rapid weight loss to bother.

Any low carb but high protein tips for breakfast would be appreciated though - eggs are losing their appeal, and of course I don't eat meat so running out of options...

Full frontal snogging

Have you seen it yet?http://www.angusthongsmovie.com/intl/uk/ Angus, thongs and full frontal snogging that is?

It's absolutely great - lovely acting, good old fashioned romantic storyline and a dollop of nostalgia (for those of us over thirty or something). For teens I suspect its normal life. It does have Mr Floppy Hair in - Alan Davies but he is very funny, honest!

The author; Louise Rennison is very successful in writing for teenage girls, today's Judy Blume or Sweet Valley High but even better because she's English. I'm quite jealous because we did not have an English humourous take on our teenage lives when we were that age. Although I did manage to develop a substantial addiction to Sweet Valley books, which were utter trash. A sort of Mills and Boon for teenagers.

I went directly from Sweet Valley romance books to feminist books. With nothing in between. Then fairly long phase of only reading Virago or even better Women's Press books, and refusing to read books by men. Course this was a teenage phase, but I suspect a direct result of having too much slush romance at an early age. If I'd had decent funny English teenage fiction that did not make girls out to be vacant nail polish addicts my teenage reading could well have been different. It even made me unable to study English A level because our first book was The Color Purple and I loved it so much I just could not bring myself to analyse it.

But back to Louise Rennison; she's great. And the film is even better. For Sussex people it has the additional treat of being filmed in Eastbourne. And it really does make you fancy going there; oh and snogging a few nice organic boys.

They are bigger now....

Starting to get all nostalgic for this phase, which really really does not last long enough. Ol's all big now, and quite grown up. He even asked me to leave school this morning as he was concerned I'd follow him in his class room and give him a big cuddle.

News Flash

Curry's actually very nice without rice or naan. Just with yoghurt.

Course I'm using my friend Ang's curry recipe - basically use a jar of Patak's paste, fry onions, add paste, add tomato's, vegetables etc and some water. And you have a curry as yummy as some take away versions (does not compete obviously with best curries in world) - or Star of India in Leytonstone/East End generally. But its lovely, and much better than my previous ten years or so of cooking curry from spices.

Low carb eating is actually not that hard, breakfast still a bit of a challenge. Considered kippers but Ol talked for such a long time (is he my veggie conscience?) about their backbones/eyes etc last time he saw one I still feel ill/bad.

Course I also have a headache, and had such a craving for sugar/chocolate at about half three I had to rapidly eat half a packet of peanuts (I know - saturated fat!). I did do something sensible today and speak to a lovely nurse about the diet. She approved, with a warning to just drink enough water.

I've also 'invented' - ok, think I read it somewhere a new snack of a piece of celery spread with peanut butter. Very nice. Not pizza, but still nice.