Friday, 17 October 2008

They will bite you know

Oh God, oh please save us sweet Jesus, they are back!

The people biting, native ladybird eating foreigners are back, in my house! On the window frame in the living room, in the exact same place as last year! Do they live for a whole year, and have amazing elephant type memories? Or did they sneakily lay eggs last year, which laid silently and evilly dormant for a year in my house?

How did they get in and what do they really want from us? I can't stand it and am worried they will run out of food and turn on the family. How will we rid ourselves of this new menace on our shores? Expert opinion follows;

Dr Mike Majerus, a Cambridge University academic who first warned of the threat three years ago, said: "They are as far north as Durham now, and it's very possible that we may get them in Scotland by the end of the year.
"They normally try to find southfacing mountains over the winter.
"But of course, we are a little short of mountains in England so they make do with pale-coloured southfacing walls.
"I had an email from someone who says the entire side of their house is covered. For the first time we are seeing plagues of them in homes."
Harlequins are known in America as Halloween ladybirds because they appear at the end of October.
The above is an extract from the mail online.
Then there was this hideous incident in a local church, how did they know to go back to the exact same spot over a hundred years later. Are they really linked to the Devil, hence Halloween bugs?

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