Good Lord, there are TWO kinds of giant spiders living less than a mile away, possibly a little over a mile away, but either way somewhere I have been. And I have possibly touched them. Or they have possibly touched me, and plotted how to GET ME, because as everyone knows, spiders will eventually be the end of us all. Or worse they will colonise us, I actually heard a story once where a spider laid its egg in a person, then they scratched and all the baby spiders came running out!!
Jesus, this is even worse than the killer ladybirds. And I am never going to those bloody caves again, even if they do let us in for free, or if we have teacher tickets, or if the children beg. Frankly I'd rather do anything else, plus I think they might be after Ol too, as once a Giant Giant One in Wales stood on him when he was a baby.
BBC NEWS England Sussex Exotic spiders dwelling in caves