I've found out about a local ish, well in the same county job, that I could probably do. And it pays decent money. But the downside is its about an hours drive away, and the children would have to re-enter childcare from 8am - 6pm again. I thought long and hard about the job, and how it might be good for me to use some of my skills again, and get some confidence back. But the compromise is the children. I just couldn't do it to them again, even with the best childcare situation in the world, ten hours a day away from home/their parents is just too much when they're this little. Desperately sad the job wasn't in our town, or working from home, or even just a little less high pressured. I struggled to keep up with both family and home and work last time I worked at a good job, and just know I couldn't manage it again.
Still, reminded me of how I used to like work, and strategic thinking and well, just being part of something bigger than our little family. There are ways of improving the community/the world though I guess locally, like working on green issues, and community issues. Am actually feeling amazingly lucky to have this time at home with the children while they are small, even if its sometimes a bit lonely, occasionally a little boring, and always will mean we're a bit broke.
In fact, always a bit broke, but seriously can't even imagine how we used to spend our money pre-children when we had a little bit. Think we actually just used to be amazingly frivolous with it, so its been good to go back to frugal basics in a way. Looking forward to the summer now, when we'll have students so a little extra bit of money. Although we will have to look after them and feed them...it is a really nice way to make a bit of money and introduce the children to people from other countries. Well, actually for them to play with the children for ages without getting bored, or maybe just being too polite to say they are bored!
Roll on summer, have had enough of wind, rain and cold this year.