Realised yesterday the that we don't actually live in the country, and that we don't actually have country kids. Went to visit friend's mum's farm yesterday, in the proper country, with ducks, cows, chickens, cats, a dog, a horse and strangely a tortoise. I remember the tortoise was rescued from somewhere and lived in the Aga for a long time. Now it scoots about the kitchen floor, with its distinctive marking of a nail varnish painted back (so it can be found in the garden).
Children were scared of all the animals, daughter particularly alarmed by tortoise, which admittedly did move quickly, and smelly orange cat which kept trying to cuddle up to her. Ol scared of all of them, although pleased to find chicken egg in the garden. He did refuse to eat it, or take it home though, and even hardy country mummy, me, did not like the idea that they are a bit grubby. Also spent some time wondering if they were soft when they came out of the chicken to help it lay them. Country husband friend D, said it was, but Wiltshire K who grew up with said not, they are only soft if Wrong. Could not face asking what Wrong eggs were like, or Wrong Chickens.
Wiltshire K quite practical, even wiped tortoises bottom for him, so would not have been fazed by question. Thought I might not like the answer though, and have still not got over thing my dad told me when I was a child about eggs, which was the white bit, in the yolk was its' chicken spine. If anyone has ever wondered why I can't eat runny eggs that's the reason, also that it might be the chicken's umbilical cord (I think I invented that years ago, but please don't tell me what it really is). Mind you, dad also told me that raisins were really squashed spiders, and I have just about managed to get over that one. Still not too keen on packets that are open though, in case spiders get in, get squashed, then die.
Must be careful not to teach my kids that spiders are Evil, and are waiting to Get Us in scary unexpected way. Instead all creatures are our Friends, even smelly cats, creepy crawlies and painted tortoises that need their bottoms wiping. Will not try and get children to stroke spiders though. They might Get Them.