Just back from looking around son's likely first school and have already shamed self in number of ways. Firstly the head was amazingly well put together, thus making me look like a jumble sale reject. She also talked properly too.
Then daughter had face of scabs, also back of scabs, which she took every opportunity of showing off by lying on every table we came across on her tummy, and letting her jumper roll up, and her builders bottom show.
Then I forgot her age, agreed she was three when Head asked me, then rather than just Leave It. Embarrassed self by acknowledging that wasn't right, and putting self right.
And finally daughter played up, moaned, insisted on being carried all around, so much that Head began talking about parenting classes held at the school and how we all Need A Little Extra Help whilst smiling at me.
Least I did not tell her I was an atheist when she told us she was a Proper Christian. Could have said I am a Proper Charlie me...